Valentine Babysitter

Babysitters have a fly-on-the-wall view of the rarely observed part of Valentine’s Day: the end of the date.

“Usually the couples come home way touchier,” said six year veteran babysitter, Lisa Hendricks. “But the couples that leave and were already touchy have the money in their hand when they get home and say ‘Ok leave,’ and run upstairs. I always sit on the couch with my purse on my lap, ready to jump up and leave the minute they get home.”

Hendricks is in a money making industry that escalates around Valentine’s Day and has not seemed to slack with the economy.

“This year I was asked five times to babysit. I get asked months in advance. Everyone jumps on that day. I usually start getting asked in December,” Hendricks said.

Parents usually start looking for sitters sometime in November, according to Mary Schwartz, Director of Public Relations for babysitting super website, Sittercity.com. She said the average rate for babysitter pay is $11.35 to $15.34 around the nation.

“The average babysitter’s rate doesn’t go up for Valentine’s Day, only New Year’s Eve. So technically I guess it is a cost-effective day to go out – babysitting wise,” Schwartz said.

It also might be a better way to generate romance and intimacy than the approximate $900 million American’s spend on chocolate every year.

“Most couples don’t want to plan for intimacy, but they plan for everything else, so why not pencil it in? Sleep is the new sex,” said Marriage and Family Psychologist, Christina Neumeyer. “But the afterglow of intimacy lasts for days. It’s like working out; you feel the effects for a while afterwards and what better day to plan for then Valentine’s Day?”

Hendricks babysat for one Valentine’s couple that gave her a time frame for dinner and shopping when they left. Knowing that stores close around 10 p.m., Hendricks was ready to leave for an hour and a half before the couple returned.

“I was thinking: what were they doing for an hour and a half? When they finally got home the woman was missing her bra and her undershirt and the man’s shirt was half tucked in. They looked at me sheepishly and were like ‘Sorry we are late,’ and the man said something under his breath and the woman hit him and was like ‘Shut up honey!’ It was funny because they both knew I understood what was going on. I had my purse so I just got out of there as fast as possible,” Hendricks said.

Taking that time to be alone and intimate is an important move for every couple, but it should represent a lasting commitment to relationship, not just a once-a-year romance, Neumeyer said.

“The family I babysat for last year they were a little rocky in their marriage. I told them that couples were going to start asking me to babysit in December and I was like, this needs to happen for you, I want to do this for you. I knew they needed that time together. They came home so touchy. It was sweet. And they brought me home a rose,” Hendricks said.

Valentine’s Day will not really change anything about a relationship but it is a beautiful opportunity to re-evaluate the health of a relationship, Neumeyer said.

“In our economy right now it is a luxury to be long and fancy and drawn out, so instead, be creative,” Neumeyer said. “Spending $15 for a babysitter and going to visit the beach is a nice treat. It is short term gain and it feels good.”

Hendricks realizes the importance of date night, and the demand for good babysitters.

“A couple people asked me the day before, ‘What are you doing tomorrow night?’ and then they got so sad when I said I couldn’t babysit because that means they don’t get to do something on Valentine’s day because of me,” Hendricks said.

This also means planning ahead is important.

“They ask in November, ‘Um do you have anyone in your life? Okay then just mark this down on your calendar,’ or on Valentine’s Day they will joke with me and say, ‘Mark us down for next year,’” Hendricks said.

Getting a babysitter for Valentine’s Day is not only beneficial to couples who need romance, but also for children.

“Children benefit from knowing that their mom and dad genuinely like each other,” Neumeyer said. “Couples can show this by just a pat on a shoulder, a kiss when they leave or a simple ‘How was your day?’ They don’t have to be madly in love and over the moon all day long, every day.”

Neumeyer said that Valentine’s Day dates can show children that parents appreciate and love each other but that it should also be a daily commitment for couples.

“One day won’t make or break a relationship but it can begin a new way of interaction,” she said. “It takes a whole lifetime to get this right. Not just one day.”

Valentine’s Day is not only beneficial for these couples and their relationships but for the entertainment of babysitters like Hendricks who make money, play with kids and have funny stories to tell their friends the next day about love and couple-hood.

“There are no bad dates,” Hendricks said, “Not on Valentine’s Day.”